Sinner.

I am a selfish person.

It hit me the other day when I was having a conversation with someone online.

  As the conversation progressed, I caught myself re-reading my own sentences...and I am ashamed to admit that I was honestly more interested in what I had to say than what the other person was expressing to me.

  I would've just shrugged this off, but I've been noticing a trend lately. My own facebook photos intrigue me, and I'll re-read things I'd written months ago. The more I think about it, the more ridiculous things come to mind...things I'm too embarrassed to share.

  Sometimes I feel like I'm riding this pendulum named "self esteem". One minute it's in left field, telling me I'm  
a big fat failure, an awkward, shy, naive, antisocial schmuck. The next, I catch myself swinging from the chandeliers, believing I'm the greatest thing since sliced cheese.

  I ask God to save me from the distortion that seems to keep my pendulum swinging. It's like trying to look at your reflection with your face smashed up against the mirror. You're just too close to see anything clearly, and what you can see is usually pretty confusing.

  So aren't I awesome? I'm writing a blog!! I used cool words and made a heroic confession!

  But it probably IS really stupid. It's not funny enough and I didn't use any Latin words so it's probably not even worth posting. I'm only writing this so I can get validation and reassurance about my life. EVERYTHING I DO IS A WASTE OF TIME!!!

  Oh God. Don't give up on me yet.

The Downs.

No life is without trial.

Even in America...even for you and me.

  Success comes to those who take their trials in stride, and look at them as an opportunity to learn, rather than a punishment for incompetency or just life's seeming innate cruelty.

  So this is for You, the person who feels like no matter how hard they try, failure seems to haunt them. The person who HAS gotten back up, who thinks they've got nothing left to give:

 Take a step back. You're not a failure or hopeless. You are, however, broken and flawed. That's okay!! Everyone is!! But don't be content...allow God's daily "adventures" to teach you, by exposing your weaknesses and supplying you with wisdom and strength to turn your trial into a triumph.

If that ain't #christiancliche #facebookworthy #stupidtwitterhashtagsthathavenospacesandarereallyhardtoread....


I don't know what is.

Oh, one more thing. Since we know to expect trials, let's appreciate those mountaintop moments all the more.

Caleb W.


  





 

No excuses, just choices.

"My father didn't support me"

"I'm blind"

"I never got a formal education"

"I'm an orphan"

"I'm owned by another man"

"I have ADHD"

"I'm a poor speaker"

"I'm unattractive"

"My father abused me"


  Every day, when I clock in and out of work, this bumper sticker, proudly showcased on the door attracts my attention:

 "No excuses, just choices."

  There will always be a legitimate excuse for not doing something worthwhile. The most valuable things in life are rarely easy, and it's taking me a long time to learn that. That exercise plan you're meaning to get on, the book that's been sitting on the shelf of your mind, begging to be written, that mountain that's defying you, and that person you meant to talk to will always be threatened of derailleur by your stiff joints, lack of convenient paper, poor weather and your insecurities. The men and women who have sweetened this world have rarely been handed greatness on a silver platter. They were people just like us, who dealt with insecurities, uncertainties and faults that made their road difficult. I am convinced that the defining difference between the greats of history and their peers was that they made no excuses, but made the difficult choices to persevere, work hard and take courage.

  So let's roll up our sleeves, put on our big boy pants, and get to work making the choices to do the things that are worthwhile in this life.

Excuse key:

1: John D. Rockefeller
2: Helen Keller
3: Abraham Lincoln
4: Steve Jobs
5: Booker T. Washington
6: Thomas Edison
7: Moses
8: Don Knotts
9: Walt Disney

In which Caleb is prompted to practice what he preaches.

   Yeah so, it's bound to happen. I guess I've just been blessed so far. And you know, I've done pretty well, really. I've been riding for four years, and escaped any lasting injury so far.

    But like I said, it was bound to happen. The new board's aggressive pop, sidecut and short nose all conspired to buck me into oblivion.

   So that's that. And I'm quite frankly a little peeved. 'Cause I had PLANS!! And then I turned on the computer and read my desktop background, which is that enlightening quote by C.S. Lewis that I posted the other day.

  *Sigh*.

  And I'm going to do just that, and start regarding the unplanned unpleasentries that life throws at me with a little peace, knowing that whatever happens, life's not out of control, just out of mine.

 Hope you guys don't mind my digital expressions. It's a little cathartic sometimes.

The adventure of unpleasantries.

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own', or 'real' life. The truth is, of course, that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life—the life God is sending one day by day: what one calls one's 'real life' is a phantom of one's own imagination."
C.S. Lewis—from a letter to Arthur Greeves, 20 December 1943

  Adventure.

I throw that word around alot. 
Okay, spell check. A lot.

   In fact, everyone's jumping on the train. In this God-deprived world, we've discovered that working a 9-5 job, getting married and living in a whitewashed, vinyl-clad home in suburbia may not be the ticket to fulfillment for every single person.

  What a shock.

   So we've begun this obsession with adventure, a sometimes reckless pursuit of new and exciting experiences. Burn down the vinyl house, and live in a tepee. Quit your job and go trek through the Yukon wilderness. Forget marriage, who needs ties like those?

   This is a growing culture, and quite honestly, one I've grown to be a part of. There's something about standing next to an alpine lake at night, or stretching my comfort zone learning a new dance step that teaches me something about myself and broadens my world.

   Don't get me wrong, I'm all for consistency. I'm also a fan of hard work, and commitment. I just haven't bought into this "American gospel" being preached.

  But recently, my view of adventure has been broadened. 

  We've all been there, late for work, or school, or church, and whomp!! Flumpflumpflumpflump...and you know your tire has just shuffled off its mortal coil. Possibly the most vulnerable component of our vehicles always seems to let us down at the worst time. And then there's the whole mess of getting out that spare tire, which is always in some grimy, neck-cramp-inducing location. It's not just tires though. It's an alarm clock that malfunctions, a dog that runs away, or dare I say it...the internet goes down. 

Unpleasentries. 
Inconveniences. 

And they always seem to happen when we least have the patience for them. 

  But maybe that's the point. Things don't happen spontaneously, they have an order and a reason. God directs his symphony on the canvas of our lives, each note an event, perfectly chosen to nudge us in the right direction. One of Webster's definitions of adventure is: "a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome." For us, that's what life is. We don't know what every decision will lead to and we can't always predict when entropy will throw a monkey wrench into our operations, but we DO know that we can trust that they're for our best interest. That's why I like to re-brand them, and call them adventures. Somehow, labeling something as an "adventure" helps me to begin to embrace life's everyday faux pas, and learn to take them in stride. 

  The adventures that unpleasentries bring our way do us a favor by knocking us out of our comfort zone and shaking us up a bit. So here's to tomorrow's adventures: the frozen water pipes, the botched haircut and the flu, and to our flexibility allowing us to discover God's heart. 

Sometimes our adventures look less like:

           ...and more like:

                                                    

  

Candy and Character.

I'm awake again.

  I readjust my sleeping position, at least as much as one can in a mummy bag, and try to go back to sleep. My condensating breath is making mini-icicles and blowing back at me with every exhale.

Makes me wonder how much of my own CO2 I've breathed all night.

  The snick/snack of my camera on a timelapse filters weakly through the bivy material as I replay the evening and night's events: A well-executed  sunset timelapse, which I overexposed perfectly to allow for the darkening sun, check. Two letters written to friends, check. Bivy and second timelapse locations found, check check. Matches for stove, woopse. Two sticks rubbed together, check. Two rocks and glancing blows, check. One flashlight battery and a twisty-tie, check. One trip back to the truck and a fortunate matchbook discovery, check check. One delicious meal of shimp Ramen and leftover sausage, check.

  And I smile. I smile because I know I could have spent the evening watching old TV shows on Netflix and updating facebook. I smile because instead of spending my time on mind candy at the dollar store, I've followed through with a goal and invested my time in my vocation, an adventure and my friends.

  Now I like some TV shows, and facebook is a great tool, but somewhere along the line, I've let them consume so much of my life. Time is like money, only more valuable, and I'd rather invest it in real things, and only buy candy one in awhile.

  My eyes droop, but I know I'll be up again in an hour or so with a sore back.

And I couldn't be happier.


Caleb W.

What's real.

We place so much value on worthless things.

Our comfort,

Our possessions,

Our internet lifestyles.

     All things that, in the end, have no real value. When was the last time your facebook profile made you feel truly fulfilled? When was the last time your $5,000 bike looked you in the eyes and said "you're worth it"? 

  I think somewhere in our affluent, engorged, gluttonous American lifestyle, we've lost sight of the "Real Things". A breath of cold air, our words, a friend's loyalty, a parent's love, glorious mountains, awash in evening's amber light, Jesus' sacrifice, courage, selflessness and tenacity.  

 Maybe instead of just making commitments to "exercise more", or "call Mom more often", we should embark on a search for "what's real". Those things that no one can take from us, those things that affect the soul. This year, let's stop wasting our most valuable resource, and begin investing our time in things that won't turn to dust.

 So here's to time well spent. Enjoy real life!

Oh, p.s., if you're looking for a good source for your "real things" list, I know a great book. The Author is totally an authority on what's real.